The One

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but there have been some developments in my life and my head is kind of spinning. Everything happened so quickly and I’m just now making sense of it all. There have been others, I mean, I’ve been around the block a few times, but right now there just doesn’t seem to be any comparison. I think I found the one. The One, you guys.

The One.

The One really gets my heart racing; I could gaze longingly at The One all day. The One is beautiful and quirky and is always there for me. The One is striking in the sunlight and glistens in the rain. The One is put together and manicured and well-built. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine being on top of The One, tired, sweaty and out of breath. The One is slender, tall, a little curvy but nice and firm. You could bounce a quarter off that asphalt. Everyone knows I’m talking about a hill, right?

The new hill I found this morning? The one I ran repeats on.

I walked out the door this morning at 4:30, expecting showers. Actually, the forecast had called for thundershowers, but I thought I’d set the alarm anyway and take my chances. As I started jogging up the street toward my new hill, I was delighted to look up at the sky and see stars. The swampy humidity was a reminder that another lovely Philadelphia summer was coming, but the low 60s temperature kept the morning… clammy, I guess. It was pretty gross.

Anyway, I was excited to try out this new hill I’d run past (not up) on some of my easy runs. This isn’t a hill that you just decide to put in an ordinary run. It’s not normal. It’s a tool, really, an implement. It’s like the oversized serving fork that you got with your flatware set. You don’t use that fork to eat dinner, but when you need it, like when your in-laws are in town and you want to be a little fancy and not serve food right out of the pot with a plastic spoon like you usually do, you’re happy it’s there.

I had 4 sets of 4×30 second hill bursts on the schedule this morning, which is: run hard uphill for 30 seconds and jog down. Four of those equals one set, and I take a two minute jog between sets. I’ve done hill bursts before, but every time finished the workout feeling like I could have done more. There must be a tougher hill around here, I always thought.

Well, if there’s a tougher hill than The One, I don’t care. It was plenty tough this morning. This thing is a monster. During each of my 30 second climbs, I ran 0.07 miles and climbed 64 feet. That’s the equivalent of a 914 foot climb in one mile!

Since you really can’t capture the horror of a hill with a photograph, I quickly sketched a picture in Paint for you guys so you can get a feel for what it was like.


I won’t bore you with times and splits and all that nonsense except to say that my pace decreased as the workout progressed and it felt like I was slowly dying. Honestly, one of the hardest parts of the workout was the recovery jog down the hill each time. There’s no easy way to jog down a hill like that and you certainly don’t feel rested at the bottom. It’s like taking a break from getting punched in the face to get punched in the stomach.

The best part about all of this, aside from getting a killer workout in while the rest of the neighborhood was alseep, is that I can finally stop looking for a better hill. If there’s a better The One out there, she’s out of my league.